waves

you know how when you were four, you went to the beach and played in the waves for hours and hours until the sun set and your parents dragged your sand-covered self home, wrapped an a brightly colored beach towel. you fell asleep in the car, and when you woke up your sheets were all gritty and morning light was coming through the curtains.

it didn't matter that you couldn't swim and the current could pull you out and eat you alive. the fact is that water is the most beautiful element in all time and you had to be there, in it. and it was such joy that you lost all sense of time and place and you laughed harder than you had all year.

and then you learned how to swim and make ornate sandcastles and decided that playing in the waves had an age limit, and you, in your great maturity had passed that limit.

so now you lay there like a beached whale and try to read a romance novel while simultaneously contracting skin cancer. i know, i've seen you. you've seen me.

i relived that childhood joy of playing in the waves this week with some friends. days later i still have water (and probably sand) in my left ear and after i take a shower it sloshes around and is all weird, but the reminder is good. a reminder that you are never too old to be pummeled in the sand, never to old to compete with the waves to see who is stronger, never too old to find such simple joy.

home

when i was in the burg, i made a discovery.

long ago, before i even decided to move away, i had boxed up all of my artwork and random creations from birth until high school. i’d put them in this large cardboard box, labeled it ‘kelsey’s art and etc’ and put it out in the granary, where it has sat ever since. when i was home, i was going through some other boxes of my stuff in the granary, and happened upon this box. and i opened it.

it was fascinating.

i found the notebooks my friend alicia and i kept. alicia is my second cousin, is 350 days older than me and during middle and high school we were inseparable. infact, we called ourselves disjoined siamese twins. for a while, we were disjoined siamese triplets because we found a way to put a basketball in a hoodie and suspend it between the two of us.

when i was in 8th grade, the cool thing was to have a notebook with your best friends. you would write a note in it, and give it to your friend during passing period, and then she’d do the same. we have 2 notebooks and literally hundreds of pages of correspondence. it is so crazy to read what you wrote when you were 14.

but you want to know what was the strangest thing? we put this questionnaire thing in there, which we both answered. and one of the questions was ‘future residence’. and you know what i wrote? hawaii.

someone please tell me how i knew as a 14 year old that in 6 years i’d move to the other side of the country. how did i know even then that this place would become my home?

i remember when i was in china i’d see my friends’ pictures and they’d email me and tell me about life and i remember missing being here so bad it hurt. and i’d never had that feeling before. i was familiar with the longing to go, but never the longing to come back.

and it’s not just that there’s beautiful beaches everywhere and lush tropical foliage and jamba juice every 10 feet and long hawaiian words for street names (although i love all of these things). it’s that there are people here with whom i feel totally and completely at home. there’s a lot to it, many reasons why, many rants i have, and i’m going to spare you. but suffice to say, i have found people in a place where it feels like home.

**

and if you feel like supporting the cause, send up a prayer that the job i really want will work out. because living in paradise is not cheap.

vfw

there is a tank parked in front of the e-burg vfw.

when i was a kid, it freaked me out. i’m not sure that i really knew what exactly a tank was as a 4 year old, but i knew it was scary. i probably asked one of my parents who told me about them and what they do. they probably also mentioned that the tank parked there wasn’t a threat to my safety, it was merely a lawn ornament.

i do not frequent the vfw. actually, i’ve never been there before, period. for one, i am not a veteran, so i’m not really sure i’m allowed inside. also i am not male, and i’m younger than 40. fourth, i don’t frequent many of the burg’s hottest attractions- mostly because they, infact, scare me. the lack of windows and general (lack of) upkeep give me a pretty decent idea what’s inside. now i could be surprised, but i’m thinking it might not be up to my high standards of cleanliness and breathability. but the vfw is on a well-driven road “into village” (i would say “into town” but the burg is not big enough to be called one of those quite yet) and you really can’t miss it. and despite the fact that the tank is surrounded by shrubbery, covered in lights, and has not carried a single soldier or weapon since long before my birth, it still struck fear into my little heart.

frankly, i’ve always wondered how it got there. did they drive it there from some port (down the toll road or us12)? did it come by truck? who had the honor of parking it there? how did the e-burg vfw get it, as apposed to a larger, more illustrious vfw elsewhere in the state or country? and most importantly: could it be hijacked and driven menacingly through our village (think tiananmen square minus the communism part with emphasis on running people down)?

and i wondered if, as an adult, having been away for some time, the tank would still strike terror into my heart.

it does.

in the month i’ve been home i’ve had to drive past the vfw 3+ times a week. and every time i pass i can’t help myself. i have to look. and shudder. and drive faster.

jade

storm

yesterday a huge wind storm blew in with winds up to 100mph. i took some pictures to document the damage here at our house: mostly giant limbs from giant trees getting blown all over. needless to say, portions of today were spent picking up big sticks.

what made me laugh is that since the power got blown out, we spent the evening in front of our respective pre-charged screens: nintendo ds, laptop, ipod touch... even with no power, we stare at screens - yay technology!

one of the shutters blew off the side of the house- we found pieces out by the road

this fern lived in a cement planter that got blown into what before wasn't a space between the fence and the steps. also there are some shutter pieces.

not sure what you use to light candles at your house, but we prefer using the blow torch.

(the power went out - it finally came on at midnight which was good because no one in this house can sleep without a fan and/or music playing)

the fence did not remain unscathed, but fortunately the playhouse and playset did.

the family 2010

i'm back :)

so i’ve been back for a while now. couple weeks i think. and only now am i finding the time, energy and most importantly, motivation to write something.

so last you heard from me i was on my way into china. come to find out they have this nifty block on blogger there, so no contact with the blogging world for me. sadness.

my plan going to china was to stay until january. well, weeks turned into months which turned into more months… before i knew it i was signing a new contract for a few extra months. i ended up staying until the middle of may.

it was an experience. i think (and hope) i’ve got china out of my system for a while. you see and hear and eat and experience a lot in a foreign country in 9 months. it’s so weird now for me to go to a store where i can actually talk to the cashier. well, more accurately, talk about more than “do you want a bag? （你要不要袋子？）” and “your total is 9.50 (九筷五十).” and to have a car at my disposal, to drive down roads where i don’t feel like death is waiting for me around every turn, on my way to the library that has lots of english books, or the stores that sell clothes i like and food i recognize.

before i came home i read up on re-entry shock and was preparing myself for being unable to re-adapt to life. for me, it’s been a non-issue. maybe it’s because i’m not jumping right back into the working world, but i’m actually really enjoying being back in my country.

over time i’ll try to post stories about some of my experiences in china. and present life, because sometimes present life is also quite fascinating…